Monday, 22 August 2011

Ferries are for wimps!!!!

... Though as this swim's getting nearer, the amount of stuff I'm beginning to worry about is multiplying, from the 'Jellyfish soup' that keeps appearing in the news this summer: to the amount of advice I'm getting off just about everybody, and their nan down the pool about how I'm swimming all wrong. My stroke's either too high, too low, too long or too short. I can barely supress a smutty snigger at the word 'stroke', is it any wonder I'm no expert?

As far as I'm concerned if I'm floating it can't be all that bad can it? Though I don't like it when seasoned swimmers look me up and down, asking, 'REALLY? - So are you a STRONG swimmer, then?' 'You've down this sort of thing BEFORE, right?' Then, eyes misting up, 'GOOD LUCK, MATE,' in the tragic tone NASA scientists must've sent the first chimps into outer space with.

I must admit you could fit all I know about swimming into the tightest speedos with plenty of room left over. And it's still an iron man challenge for me to just squeeze into my tight wetsuit. DO I still need to buy some goosefat from Waitrose? Will olive oil do just as well? Will sharks find me tastier if I baste myself with either?

Motivating me throughout this swim, will be the rather urgent need to make it to the other side without sinking in the middle bit.

My other motivation is Families Against Neuroblastoma. Some really brave parents, ordinary parents, ceaselessly fundraising to get treatment to children fighting the UK's deadliest childhood cancer. Neuroblastoma cancer is the most common cancer in infants. It's treatable. But it kills more children than any other disease in the UK. It needn't.

Please sponsor my fundraising ferry-dodging & help these parents with some really urgent appeals:

& for more on my rigorous training regime:

All the Bestival, Ben x

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